Sometimes in life

Sometimes in life, we expect a relationship, an event, or a transaction to go smoothly – and then discover that the reality is much different. Conversations and interactions became more complex, nuanced by personal agenda and hidden motives. Maybe we missed the obvious signs because of our own unwillingness to see the truth.  Or maybe we were overconfident in our ability to adjust to change. Regardless of the catalyst, life continuously presents us with moments that force us to revise our expectations and recalculate our present path.

No matter what seems probable or likely to happen, the reality is that we never see all the variables involved in the equation. Only God has a perspective that is constant, never changing, and big enough to encompass all the ups and downs of our journey. We can’t see what’s around the bend or over the next hill, but He can.  Often we’re humbled and forced to confront our limitation when our expectations go unfulfilled.

We can second- guess and plan all we want, but ultimately we cannot control everything that happens in our lives.

Set your standards

Unfortunately, sometimes we conduct our relationships as if we are selling souvenirs on the seashore. We haggle, we negotiate, we compromise – too fearful of being alone to stand firm on the value of our worth. Why do we insist on giving ourselves away? Offering up pieces of ourselves so that someone gets us at a steal? I don’t know about you, but I want to be valued.

If you don’t see yourself as a gift, then who will? We must set our standards and hold firm on our price. It’s better to walk away than to lower our self-worth to less than its actual value.

What are your expectations, your standards? In other words, what’s your price?

Have you shared those expectations with others? We get upset when people do not live up to the standards we set, but often we have not even given them the courtesy of letting them know the standards exist.

Likewise, we cannot get caught up trying to meet the standards of others and fail to birth the vision God has for us. God has placed talents and gifts inside of us – and He has plans for us to make the best use of those talents and gifts. Our faith teaches us that taking a stand to reach our goals may have a cost.

There are some things in life that should be non negotiable. Your character, your self-esteem, your ambition are the things that make you, YOU! If someone wants to be in your life, you owe it to them to let them know up front what you will and will not compromise on.

And if you have not considered the boundaries of your worth, then others will attempt to lower them for you. Some people do this to feel better about themselves; others do it because they want to control you or manipulate circumstances. Regardless of how it happens, the place to begin defending against is this kind of price reduction is within. No one can force you to sell yourself short if you’re aware of your true worth.

Always..

You don’t have to chase people down or convince them to be in your life. God will bring the right people at the perfect time. Don’t spend a lifetime holding yourself back because others do not want to go with you.  If it comes down to following them or pursuing your destiny, make the right decision.

Most times

You cannot let your life be dictated by the reaction of others, though. Ultimately God has preordained your future, and He doesn’t need the lives of your friends to parallel everything. He has planned for you.  Don’t handcuff someone to your dream. They don’t have to believe with you or cheer for you if God is with you.  It may be lonely at times, but He will provide the right relationships at the right time. Don’t be afraid to release old friendships into God’s hands in order to follow the calling he has placed on our life.

Beautiful people do not just happen

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

You will always..

You will always be too much of
something for someone; too big,
too loud, too soft, too edgy
If you round out your edges, you lose your edge

Apologize for mistakes
Apologize for unintentionally
hurting someone - profusely,

But don't apologize for being who you are.

The Journey

The journey in between

What you once were

And who you are now becoming

Is where the dance of life

Really takes place

Sometimes...

Sometimes in life, we expect a relationship, an event, or a transaction to go smoothly – and then discover that the reality is much more different. Conversations and interactions become more complex, nuanced by personal agendas and hidden motives. Maybe we missed the obvious signs because of our won unwillingness to see the truth. Or maybe we were overconfident in our ability to adjust to change.  Regardless of the catalyst, life continually presents us with moments that force us to revise our expectations and recalculate our present path.

Poetry and life lessons: There'll be no Good-bye my Darling

Poetry and life lessons: There'll be no Good-bye my Darling: A lifetime together is a series of memories Preserved are these memories, as memories in time These moments are treasures, joyful rememb...

The best we can do..

A little girl who was late coming home for super, made the expected irate parents demand to know where she had ben.

The little girl replied that she had stopped to help Janie, whose bicycle was broken in a fall

“But you don’t anything about fixing bicycles” her mother responded.

“I know that” the girl said. “I just stopped to help her cry”,

Moral: not many of us know anything about fixing bicycles either, and when our friends have fallen and broken, not their bicycles but their lives, none of us know how to fix that. We simply cannot ‘fix’ someone else life, even though that’s what we would like most to do.

But like the little girl, we can stop to help them cry.

That is the best we can do. And it’s a lot!!!

I will greet this day..

I will greet this day with love in my heart
And how will I do this?
Henceforth will I look on all things with love and be born again
I will love the sun for it warms my bones
Yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit
I will love the light for it shows me the way
Yet I will love the darkness for it show me the stars
I will welcome happiness as it enlarges my heart
Yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul
I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due
Yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge

Time

Tick tock...tick tock...
Life is counting down on your internal clock.

Memories that feel as if they occurred yesterday
turn to flashes of moments that seem to fade away.

People you once knew
walk by without a clue.

The times you once shared
exist as if you were never there.

Years fly...friends die...
and you never know when you'll say your last goodbye.

Oh, how I wish I could turn back time,
spend it with loved ones and cherish what once was mine.

Or to go back even more,
being a kid in a candy store.

How I miss the way I used to feel
on Christmas day when Santa was real.

But back to reality...back to today,
family is scarce and memories continue to fade away.

Tick tock...tick tock...
How I wish I could control this clock.

Encourage The Encourager

I remember brother J today. Everyone knew him in the church we attended many years ago. He was an encourager.

If he knew of someone with a need, he wouldn't rest until he met it or until he got someone who could.

He wasn't a pastor, but most people thought he was. He visited. He counseled. He prayed for people.

No one could miss church two weeks in a row without having brother J visit him.

He was one smiling, energetic brother who was always smiling and available. He didn't seem to have a care in the world.

As busy as he always was in helping people, I never heard him complain about anyone. I had seen him respond to the most abrasive insults with good natured jokes and sweet laughter.

I returned from a trip and noticed that brother J wasn't in church. I asked some of his 'friends' why, and they couldn't give me a definite answer.

One said maybe he had traveled to see his family. Another said maybe he was busy doing something important. All I got was maybes, and more maybes from his 'besties.'

I asked some guys who had been helped by brother J, and they couldn't tell me anything useful. Even those in leadership couldn't tell me anything important.

During the week, I decided to look for brother J. It took me two days to find his house. I was terribly shocked. This gracious brother was living in the most inhospitable condition.

A boy showed me his room, the room he used to live in.

Brother J had died four months earlier.

None of his brethren was aware. Not even those he helped.

This gracious brother had fallen on hard times in the past eighteen months and had lost so much. This made him to move to this terrible neighborhood of gangs, living in unsanitary conditions.

He had been asthmatic, but his trials and living conditions seemed to aggravate his ill health.

Brother J was sick, and was in his room for a week. He died in that room.

The boy that took me to his room told me brother J sent him to one of the brothers in his church group at the height of his sickness. That one said he would tell the others. My investigation revealed that he told a couple of people and they all agreed to visit him sometime. They never did.

His neighbors took his body to the morgue and did what they could to find his extended family members.

Brother J had been quietly forgotten by the people he loved.

I cried.

Brethren, don't ever think that the people around you who seem to be very strong don't need encouragement.

The brethren who neglected brother J were probably good people who took his strength for granted. You know that smooth presumption that makes you think, "I know it's too late and daddy should be home by now, but I am sure he can take care of himself. Let's go to sleep."

They believed brother J was usually fine, and would be fine this time, too.

Encouragers need encouragement. To encourage you, they sometimes have to ignore their own troubles, which may be much bigger than yours.

You may think they are very rich, but they may have issues in their lives that money cannot handle.

You may think they are always happy, but they are only smiling for you. They may be trying to lift you up while they are down.

Those who are strong for others sometimes need someone to be strong for them.

The people you go to when you feel like giving up on life... when you are neck deep in financial or marital challenges, who leave everything to spend hours with you on the phone, pray with you, visit you and nurse your battered confidence back to health...

Your mother, father, brother or pastor may be the strongest person you have ever known. What they have shielded you from hit them hard, and left some marks on them.

You don't know about these because they chose not to tell you.

Sometimes the little errors they commit are due to the pressures on them. You sometimes judge them too harshly because you haven't been where they have been.

I call on you today to encourage your encouragers.

Call them and thank them. Tell them how much you appreciate them. Tell them you have not taken them for granted, and then pray for them.

Some of us are alive today because of those who left their challenges to attend to our troubles.

Do not abandon your brother J. He is probably battling a giant right now that a word from you can help him defeat. Letting him know you care for him may be all he or she needs to hear.

Don't be offended if he seems to have withdrawn from you. He is probably hiding his challenges from you, not wanting to burden you with his troubles.

Encourage your encourager.