Monday, September 21, 2015
Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.
Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares,
Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed.
We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.
With its possible adversities, Its burdens,
Its large promise and poor performance.
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds,
but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This just leaves only one day . . . Today.
Any person can fight the battles of just one day.
It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's -
yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.
It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.
It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday
and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us therefore live but one day at a time.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Visitors on Earth
Our Fate On Planet Earth
Some are here to Suffer
Some are here to Mislead and Deceive
Some are here to be Followers
Some are here to be great Leaders
Some are here to be Slaves of others
Some are here to achieve greater things and live a Legacy
Some are here to Destroy Nature
Some are here to Complain about Life and Everything
Some are here to Strive, Persevere, Trust in their Own Abilities till they Succeed
Some are here on Accompanying others on the road to Success but they don"t make it because its not their Destiny to reach and so they divert along the way
Some are here to get Jealous of those who do good, wish them evil and make sure that they never Succeed
Some are Privileged and here to mess up every Opportunity they get
Some are like Ticks here to live on Blood of others and stumble on others to get to the top but they don’t last
Some are just here just to increase the number of People who ever lived in this Era and Die.
So Which One Is You?
Acknowledge the fact that in this world we are all visitors, choose the right path from the start and remember you can be any of the mentioned Above it Depends with You.
Some are here to Suffer
Some are here to Mislead and Deceive
Some are here to be Followers
Some are here to be great Leaders
Some are here to be Slaves of others
Some are here to achieve greater things and live a Legacy
Some are here to Destroy Nature
Some are here to Complain about Life and Everything
Some are here to Strive, Persevere, Trust in their Own Abilities till they Succeed
Some are here on Accompanying others on the road to Success but they don"t make it because its not their Destiny to reach and so they divert along the way
Some are here to get Jealous of those who do good, wish them evil and make sure that they never Succeed
Some are Privileged and here to mess up every Opportunity they get
Some are like Ticks here to live on Blood of others and stumble on others to get to the top but they don’t last
Some are just here just to increase the number of People who ever lived in this Era and Die.
So Which One Is You?
Acknowledge the fact that in this world we are all visitors, choose the right path from the start and remember you can be any of the mentioned Above it Depends with You.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Hold on
Hold on to what is good,
Even if it's a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe,
Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do,
Even if it's a long way from here.
Hold on to your life,
Even if it's easier to let go.
Hold on to my hand,
Even if someday I'll be gone away from you.
Even if it's a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe,
Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do,
Even if it's a long way from here.
Hold on to your life,
Even if it's easier to let go.
Hold on to my hand,
Even if someday I'll be gone away from you.
softness of the air
The beauty of the trees,
the softness of the air,
the fragrance of the grass,
speaks to me.
The summit of the mountain,
the thunder of the sky,
the rhythm of the sea,
speaks to me.
The strength of the fire,
the taste of salmon,
the trail of the sun,
and the life that never goes away,
they speak to me.
And my heart soars."
the softness of the air,
the fragrance of the grass,
speaks to me.
The summit of the mountain,
the thunder of the sky,
the rhythm of the sea,
speaks to me.
The strength of the fire,
the taste of salmon,
the trail of the sun,
and the life that never goes away,
they speak to me.
And my heart soars."
Sunday, June 1, 2014
The only piece of dating advice you need
There's so much dating advice out there for women. We are inundated by it from dating experts of both genders and I know, I know, this post sounds like just another drop in the pan. But my new advice is about to make this all easier: Screw all the advice. Just live how you want.
I have tried it all: Wait at least four hours to text back, at least 24 hours to call back and sometimes just never respond at all and make him contact you again (after you have seemingly ignored him. Brilliant). Only answer texts with single words and make sure he is always the last one to respond. Don't let him know you're into him. Be a b*tch. Never accept any date less than three days in advance (which means you definitely don't see him last-minute). Never initiate contact OR plans. Always be the first one to hang up or end the date. Don't sleep with him for at least three months. Duty date (this means date a lot of guys at once -- especially when you're really into someone -- even if you don't like the guys you are "duty dating"). Stay detached... and the list goes on and on.
I have done all of these things at one point or another because I thought I was supposed to. And every time I have done them, it has felt manipulative and contrived. I felt like I was playing a game and trying to force an outcome. I felt it wasn't authentic -- it felt wrong and out of alignment with who I am, and -- surprise -- the times I did this with a guy I was seeing, it never actually grew into a relationship. Because I wasn't being myself.
But I'd like to talk about what being myself, regarding dating in particular, means. Because I have been beating myself up about it a lot lately. Recently, I had a strong intuitive feeling about a guy and invested myself and my emotions quickly (all the "rules" would say I invested way too quickly). Obviously, then, I didn't follow any of these aforementioned "rules." I believed his words and actions, believed the connection I felt, believed my intuition that told me this had the potential to be something special, that there is "just something about him..." So I followed my intuition and, as I do in all areas of my life, put myself out there and started to jump in with an open heart. But it turns out that apparently my intuition was incorrect, at least for now.
So I immediately started going to that dark place... spiraling downwards into the land of self-defeating thoughts: beating myself up for not following the "rules," thinking somehow that if I had followed them, it would have worked out between us and as a result, totally blaming myself for ruining what my intuition told me was supposed to be something great, feeling like an idiot for trusting it and investing too much too soon... But then I stopped, took a step back and starting looking at some things.
This intuition and being open to jumping in thing doesn't happen all the time with me and guys. It's not like my normal MO to just invest immediately in every guy I date. I casually date plenty of guys (but, to be honest, if I'm casually dating someone for any extended period of time, the truth is that I'm really not that into them because I'm just not wired like that). But after each time I have bravely followed my intuition in the love department and it hasn't worked out, I promise myself that no matter what I think I'm feeling or what my gut is telling me, next time it happens I will be disciplined, firm and keep my boundaries up and my heart protected. And each time, I fail at that... Oops, I guess I did it again.
But here's the thing I realized: All of the serious relationships and great loves I have had in my life started passionately and quickly. There was no casual, gradual dating building up to the discussion of whether or not we wanted to be exclusive. We were just together and wanted to be together. It was a given. It happened fast and it happened organically. We both jumped in because we both just knew. Every one of my serious relationships, which have lasted anywhere from one year to five years, happened this way; not by playing games or following the "rules" or being cautious. So, this is what I know. This is what I do. Should I beat myself up for that? Should I beat myself up for the fact that I am passionate, open, follow my intuition, and am willing to take risks, even if it means I don't follow any of the "rules?"
There's all this talk surrounding things we need to change about ourselves. I have tried to change many things about myself for many years, including how sensitive I am and how I may invest in a man or possible relationship too quickly with unabashed passion. And guess what? I haven't been able to change them. Certainly, I have been able to be aware of triggers, how I react to things and so forth. Those things I can change. But the other things? I think they are just me. I think they are part of my make-up. And I think in trying to change them, it causes me more damage, because all it's doing is affirming that something about who I inherently am is wrong.
I am intuitive... I am a healer, spiritual writer and teacher, actress... My intuition is what allows me to do those things. I rely on my intuition to make a living. So, if I feel intuitively about a man, am I just supposed to start ignoring it Am I supposed to trust my intuition in one area of my life but not the other? I get excited about things, am passionate and feel emotions very deeply... that allows me to express myself creatively and personally. But, am I supposed to allow that excitement, passion and deep feeling only in certain parts of my life? As a writer and actress, I have to put myself out there and take risks.In my writing, I share some very unflattering and embarrassing things about myself that are out there for the whole world to see... It's just what I do. But should I compartmentalize that part of myself and not put myself out there or take risks with dating and relationships?
SO, yes, when I have a good intuitive feeling about a man, I might open my heart too fast or invest too soon and want to dive in with open arms... but so what!? Whenever I have done this in the past, it has either become clear very quickly when it's not the right thing and I get to move on fast (usually in 4-12 weeks), or it has grown into a committed, long-term, deeply loving relationship. I have also learned from every one of these experiences. Therefore, maybe it wasn't that my intuition was wrong in guiding me to the short-lived ones. Maybe the intuition was simply there to lead me to a situation I needed for my own personal growth and transformation. Maybe it was to lead me to the opportunity to overcome and heal certain issues. And on an even bigger, deeper, spiritual level, sometimes I think my intuition has guided me towards dating a certain man solely for the purpose of helping him on his journey.
So, you know what? Something that I dove into guided by my intuition didn't work out... Who cares?! I came at it authentically, not trying to manipulate it with all these "rules," and as such, I trust the outcome. And, therefore, I can walk away with confidence. If I choose to operate in my life from a place of passion, with an open heart, following my intuition and a relationship or situation doesn't work out, it's OK. Because I have certainty that since I was authentic in my behavior, the way it turned out was authentic. I don't want to beat myself up anymore for just being who I am and living the way I live. Because living this way works for me. Dating this way works for me. It's who I am and I'm over trying to change it. And guess what? As long as it doesn't hurt others (or yourself), you are also allowed to live the way you want to, in every area of your life.
Does all the dating advice you're hearing and trying to follow not feel authentic to you? Are you sick of beating yourself up for being something you're not? Try an experiment. Why don't you just try being yourself and living (and dating) the way you want, and see how you feel. When you're authentic in the way you live your life, even when a relationship doesn't work out, you can feel confident in it. Because you were living your truth.
Monday, May 26, 2014
Dont Quit
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
- Edgar A. Guest
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Experience
I WAS NOT BORN EXPERIENCED
But
The Hard Realities,
Deceiving Natures,
Broken Promises,
Double Faces,
Attractive Words,
Melting Emotions,
Lovely Feelings,
Harsh Truths,
Bitter Behaviors,
Loving Attitude,
Ignoring Acts,
Multi Standards
& False Statements.
These All Taught Me
What Is Experience
But
The Hard Realities,
Deceiving Natures,
Broken Promises,
Double Faces,
Attractive Words,
Melting Emotions,
Lovely Feelings,
Harsh Truths,
Bitter Behaviors,
Loving Attitude,
Ignoring Acts,
Multi Standards
& False Statements.
These All Taught Me
What Is Experience
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
to let go
To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization that I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to criticize, or regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can do.
To let go is to fear less, and to love more.
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization that I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to criticize, or regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can do.
To let go is to fear less, and to love more.
Honesty
Morality may consist solely in the courage
of making a choice. Wickedness is always easier than virtue, for it takes
a short cut to everything. But over time you learn, you can't make wrong
work.
There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy. And your only reward is that it's easy. You cannot do wrong without suffering wrong.
Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results.
You can never lose anything that really belongs to you, and you can't keep that which belongs to someone else.
You always experience the consequences of your own acts. If your acts are right, you'll get good consequences; if not, you'll suffer for it.
Sooner or later everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences
There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy. And your only reward is that it's easy. You cannot do wrong without suffering wrong.
Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results.
You can never lose anything that really belongs to you, and you can't keep that which belongs to someone else.
You always experience the consequences of your own acts. If your acts are right, you'll get good consequences; if not, you'll suffer for it.
Sooner or later everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences
Saturday, December 28, 2013
A Plea to The Lord
I woke up on Monday and looked up at
the sky
With a pain in my heart and tears in my eyes
I said “Lord, please help me, I don't know what to do.
I lost my job, I need some help, I have no one but you."
The Lord looked down upon me with sadness in his eyes.
“The world is in a sorry state and I apologize.
For all the pain it's caused you, there's just one thing I'll say:
“It’s okay to cry my child, but don't forget to pray.”
I woke up on Tuesday and looked up at the sky
With a pain in my heart and tears in my eyes
I said “Lord please help me, I don’t know what to do.
The food is scarce, the kids are sick, I have no one but you.
The week dragged by thru Saturday and things seemed worse each day.
I remembered what the Lord said: “It’s okay to cry, but pray”
So I cried and prayed, I cried and prayed, with no relief in sight.
And I went to bed exhausted but couldn't sleep that night.
I woke up on Sunday and looked up at the sky
With pain in my heart and tears in my eyes
I said “Lord I’ve had enough and I’m about to break
I think I might just end it all, for everybody’s sake."
“I’ve not deserted you my child, I’ve counted every tear
Your burdens, although heavy, are not more than you can bear
Soon the sun will warm your face and make you smile again
So rest a little easier and trust in me till then.”
Then the Lord reached down and held me in his arms
With a gentle hand he wiped my tears and spoke these words so calm
“My child I love you dearly and have heard you pray your best
But there is no crying on Sunday, it is the day of rest.
I’ve heard you cry, I’ve heard you pray and I will not desert you
Your faith in Me will get you through these tragedies that hurt you.
So rest today and worry not and leave the rest to me
If you do that, I can promise you, the best is yet to be."
With a pain in my heart and tears in my eyes
I said “Lord, please help me, I don't know what to do.
I lost my job, I need some help, I have no one but you."
The Lord looked down upon me with sadness in his eyes.
“The world is in a sorry state and I apologize.
For all the pain it's caused you, there's just one thing I'll say:
“It’s okay to cry my child, but don't forget to pray.”
I woke up on Tuesday and looked up at the sky
With a pain in my heart and tears in my eyes
I said “Lord please help me, I don’t know what to do.
The food is scarce, the kids are sick, I have no one but you.
The week dragged by thru Saturday and things seemed worse each day.
I remembered what the Lord said: “It’s okay to cry, but pray”
So I cried and prayed, I cried and prayed, with no relief in sight.
And I went to bed exhausted but couldn't sleep that night.
I woke up on Sunday and looked up at the sky
With pain in my heart and tears in my eyes
I said “Lord I’ve had enough and I’m about to break
I think I might just end it all, for everybody’s sake."
“I’ve not deserted you my child, I’ve counted every tear
Your burdens, although heavy, are not more than you can bear
Soon the sun will warm your face and make you smile again
So rest a little easier and trust in me till then.”
Then the Lord reached down and held me in his arms
With a gentle hand he wiped my tears and spoke these words so calm
“My child I love you dearly and have heard you pray your best
But there is no crying on Sunday, it is the day of rest.
I’ve heard you cry, I’ve heard you pray and I will not desert you
Your faith in Me will get you through these tragedies that hurt you.
So rest today and worry not and leave the rest to me
If you do that, I can promise you, the best is yet to be."
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Its all about Choices
life's all about the choices we make, so if you make choices well you'll succeed. It sounds like stating the obvious, but it isnt.
Because few of us really believe how much control we have over our lives. After all, sometimes it really does feel like the whole world's against you. Your PC crashes and everything's lost? Traffic makes you late? but the truth is that it's your decisions that determined what happened. Like you could have backed up your PC, or set off earlier..
so its worth thinking about the choices one makes. because they become habits that define who you are. like the child who endlessly skimps on her homework- and eventually misses out on going to college..
Its not easy though, in these days of quick results and instant gratification. Tempting you to put your career, social life and glitzy possessions ahead of your family. and to move on anytime things get tough. partly its because all that marketing hype creates such high expectations. and makes us feel things should be effortless. so whenever your partner seems less than perfect, its easy to believe that there's someone else out there who is exactly what you are missing. and so you only 'conditionally commit' to one another. until a better options appears....
we would all be a lot better off if our expectations were more realistic. so before you decide that your partner's not giving you what you want. ask whether anyone could! its sad how often marriages struggle when really whats happening is that you've set your hopes too high. so anytime your partner's driving you nuts, ask yourself whether you're being fair. and make sure you're meeting their needs before you start complaining that your own aren't being met.
like always doing what you say you're going to do. your word is everything to your spouse! so dont let your work takes priority, because your partner's needs must come first. like if you say you're goind to be somewhere, be there. on time. successful couples do work hard of course-but they set limits to it. they're focused and professional, avoid bringing work home, and live simply in order to reduce financial pressures and working hours. putting your relationship first may mean you'll never be the wealthiest people around, but you'll certainly be leading the richest lives.
so if you want to reduce marriage to one simple rule. its this, be committed! and live a life that says you are, every single day. because the song's wrong. it s not love that makes the world go round. its commitment. and why's that? its because the love that lasts forever only start growing when you both know you'll always be there for each other.
Because few of us really believe how much control we have over our lives. After all, sometimes it really does feel like the whole world's against you. Your PC crashes and everything's lost? Traffic makes you late? but the truth is that it's your decisions that determined what happened. Like you could have backed up your PC, or set off earlier..
so its worth thinking about the choices one makes. because they become habits that define who you are. like the child who endlessly skimps on her homework- and eventually misses out on going to college..
Its not easy though, in these days of quick results and instant gratification. Tempting you to put your career, social life and glitzy possessions ahead of your family. and to move on anytime things get tough. partly its because all that marketing hype creates such high expectations. and makes us feel things should be effortless. so whenever your partner seems less than perfect, its easy to believe that there's someone else out there who is exactly what you are missing. and so you only 'conditionally commit' to one another. until a better options appears....
we would all be a lot better off if our expectations were more realistic. so before you decide that your partner's not giving you what you want. ask whether anyone could! its sad how often marriages struggle when really whats happening is that you've set your hopes too high. so anytime your partner's driving you nuts, ask yourself whether you're being fair. and make sure you're meeting their needs before you start complaining that your own aren't being met.
like always doing what you say you're going to do. your word is everything to your spouse! so dont let your work takes priority, because your partner's needs must come first. like if you say you're goind to be somewhere, be there. on time. successful couples do work hard of course-but they set limits to it. they're focused and professional, avoid bringing work home, and live simply in order to reduce financial pressures and working hours. putting your relationship first may mean you'll never be the wealthiest people around, but you'll certainly be leading the richest lives.
so if you want to reduce marriage to one simple rule. its this, be committed! and live a life that says you are, every single day. because the song's wrong. it s not love that makes the world go round. its commitment. and why's that? its because the love that lasts forever only start growing when you both know you'll always be there for each other.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
The Awakening
A time comes in your life when you finally
get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening...
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.
You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.
You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening...
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.
You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.
You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
A quiet place
It happens to me too,
the voices and choices
are too much at times
and I need a quiet place
just me and the moon
or me and the sky
a place where I can hear God whisper
reminding me to breathe
asking me to 'hold on'
and when I hear this
I know everything will be O.K...
the voices and choices
are too much at times
and I need a quiet place
just me and the moon
or me and the sky
a place where I can hear God whisper
reminding me to breathe
asking me to 'hold on'
and when I hear this
I know everything will be O.K...
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