Just simple

Keep the honest moments close to your heart. The ones that are the most human. When you laugh until your ribs ache with your friends, when you feel stars  exploding inside of you from falling in love, when life breaks you open and those tears of transformation pour like a river from your soul. Life is really quite simple. We get to experience this planet for a brief while. We get to learn how to love ourselves and one another for the strange, messy, and magical creatures we are.  What a gift it is to have a human life. If you look a little closer, there is always something to be grateful for. True gratitude isn’t ignoring the darkness. It’s participating with your whole heart in whatever moment life brings. It’s leaning into the unfolding process and having the courage to need  all of the answers.

Parenting

Children are a blessing. But for some reason God doesn’t always bless everyone with children. Some hope and pray for a family, and God graciously grants their request, sometimes quite miraculously, as in the case of Sarah; others just as fervent in their petitions before God’s throne are met by deafening silence. Every time they see friends praise God for their pregnancies and when they welcome their babies, it deepens the depth of the wound as they consider their empty nest. Even such innocent questions as “How many children do you have?” serve as painful reminders of an exclusive club that those without children are excluded from, even though they may want to join.

Those who have gone through such an experience should come to accept that God understands their sorrow. The psalmist declares of God, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” (Ps. 56:8, NLT). Even though He seems silent, “the LORD is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him” (Ps. 103:13, NLT).

Other people, meanwhile, for various reasons, might choose simply not to have children. One can understand in a world like ours so full of suffering, pain, evil, and potential calamity, why some might decide not to bring more people into it. In some cases, some people might choose to adopt children instead of having their own; that way they can raise children who are already here, often giving them a chance at a much better life than what they might have otherwise had.

Our world is a complicated place, and we are likely to meet all sorts of people in all sorts of situations in regard to having or not having children. In whatever situation we find ourselves regarding the question of children, we can live with the assurance of God’s love for us and His desire for our good end. At the same time, too, let’s always remember to be as sensitive as we can toward people who, for whatever reasons, do not have kids.

Restoring Damaged People

We are too quick to criticize people because of what they’ve been through in life. In some cases it’s because of what they have done to others, and in some cases because of what others have done to them. If you’ve been to a second-hand shop you know there are quality items at discounted prices; you just have to know what you’re looking for. Jesus does. In His eyes the down-and-out may be ‘down’ but they’re not ‘out’. Peter’s sorrow over denying Jesus ran so deep that he decided to go back to his old job as a fisherman. Can you imagine the gossip around the harbor? ‘That’s him, the guy who turned his back on Jesus.’ Peter eventually became the leader of the New Testament church. But be honest. Would you have voted him in as your pastor, or been willing to listen to anything he had to say? Yet the first person Jesus went looking for after He rose from the dead was Peter. Why? Because He looks beyond our immediate problem and sees our long-term potential. Jesus remembered the words He had spoken to Peter: ‘Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren’ (Luke 22:31-32 NKJV). The foundation principle of practicing medicine is ‘First, do no harm’. When someone is damaged, don’t damage them further. Love them, pray for them, and seek to restore them.

The Royal Love song

“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave; Its flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame” (Song of Solomon 8:6, NKJV).

Among the seasons of life, one of the big ones is marriage. Again, not everyone marries, but for those who do, marriage brings special challenges, and special blessings, as well. Among those blessings is the wonderful gift of sexuality. What a powerful expression of love this gift, in the right time and the right place, can be. Contrary to popular opinion, the Bible is not against sex. It’s against the misuse of this wonderful gift from the Creator to human beings.

In fact, the Song of Solomon, one of the smallest and perhaps one of the least-read books of the Bible, describes the relationship between a young bride, Shulamite, and her beloved, who is believed to be King Solomon himself. The book unfolds the mysteries of human intimacy and the delights of conjugal love in marriage. Although the Song of Solomon has frequently been treated allegorically as a symbol of the relationship of God and God’s people or of Christ and the church, it is first of all a poem on the love found in the very real human relationship of a man and woman

Take it to the Lord in prayer

It’s amazing how long we put up with things before we decide to pray about them. The hymn writer says, ‘O what peace we often forfeit; O what needless pain we bear. All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.’ We complain to our friends. We wonder why God doesn’t do something. We wrestle with the situation in our minds, yet we fail to take advantage of the simplest solution there is – prayer. Charles Spurgeon wrote, ‘The desire to commune with God is intensified by the failure of all other sources of consolation.’ We’re all guilty of treating prayer as a last-ditch effort. When you say things like, ‘Nothing else is working. Maybe I should pray about it,’ do you realise what that says about you? That you really don’t understand or believe in the power of prayer as you should. You’re carrying burdens you don’t need to carry, and life is harder than it has to be because you don’t realise how powerful prayer is. If you did, you’d pray about everything – not as a last resort but as a first response. The Bible says, ‘Is anyone among you afflicted (ill-treated, suffering evil)? He should pray.’ When you’ve a problem: pray. When someone hurts you: pray. When you’re sick: pray. When you feel like giving up: pray. When someone you love is suffering: pray. When you’re discouraged: pray. When you don’t know what to do: pray. Jesus, who prayed early in the morning and late at night, said, ‘Whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them’ (Mark 11:24 NKJV). So pray about it.

Sometimes in life

Sometimes in life, we expect a relationship, an event, or a transaction to go smoothly – and then discover that the reality is much different. Conversations and interactions became more complex, nuanced by personal agenda and hidden motives. Maybe we missed the obvious signs because of our own unwillingness to see the truth.  Or maybe we were overconfident in our ability to adjust to change. Regardless of the catalyst, life continuously presents us with moments that force us to revise our expectations and recalculate our present path.

No matter what seems probable or likely to happen, the reality is that we never see all the variables involved in the equation. Only God has a perspective that is constant, never changing, and big enough to encompass all the ups and downs of our journey. We can’t see what’s around the bend or over the next hill, but He can.  Often we’re humbled and forced to confront our limitation when our expectations go unfulfilled.

We can second- guess and plan all we want, but ultimately we cannot control everything that happens in our lives.

Set your standards

Unfortunately, sometimes we conduct our relationships as if we are selling souvenirs on the seashore. We haggle, we negotiate, we compromise – too fearful of being alone to stand firm on the value of our worth. Why do we insist on giving ourselves away? Offering up pieces of ourselves so that someone gets us at a steal? I don’t know about you, but I want to be valued.

If you don’t see yourself as a gift, then who will? We must set our standards and hold firm on our price. It’s better to walk away than to lower our self-worth to less than its actual value.

What are your expectations, your standards? In other words, what’s your price?

Have you shared those expectations with others? We get upset when people do not live up to the standards we set, but often we have not even given them the courtesy of letting them know the standards exist.

Likewise, we cannot get caught up trying to meet the standards of others and fail to birth the vision God has for us. God has placed talents and gifts inside of us – and He has plans for us to make the best use of those talents and gifts. Our faith teaches us that taking a stand to reach our goals may have a cost.

There are some things in life that should be non negotiable. Your character, your self-esteem, your ambition are the things that make you, YOU! If someone wants to be in your life, you owe it to them to let them know up front what you will and will not compromise on.

And if you have not considered the boundaries of your worth, then others will attempt to lower them for you. Some people do this to feel better about themselves; others do it because they want to control you or manipulate circumstances. Regardless of how it happens, the place to begin defending against is this kind of price reduction is within. No one can force you to sell yourself short if you’re aware of your true worth.

Always..

You don’t have to chase people down or convince them to be in your life. God will bring the right people at the perfect time. Don’t spend a lifetime holding yourself back because others do not want to go with you.  If it comes down to following them or pursuing your destiny, make the right decision.

Most times

You cannot let your life be dictated by the reaction of others, though. Ultimately God has preordained your future, and He doesn’t need the lives of your friends to parallel everything. He has planned for you.  Don’t handcuff someone to your dream. They don’t have to believe with you or cheer for you if God is with you.  It may be lonely at times, but He will provide the right relationships at the right time. Don’t be afraid to release old friendships into God’s hands in order to follow the calling he has placed on our life.

Beautiful people do not just happen

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.

You will always..

You will always be too much of
something for someone; too big,
too loud, too soft, too edgy
If you round out your edges, you lose your edge

Apologize for mistakes
Apologize for unintentionally
hurting someone - profusely,

But don't apologize for being who you are.

The Journey

The journey in between

What you once were

And who you are now becoming

Is where the dance of life

Really takes place

Sometimes...

Sometimes in life, we expect a relationship, an event, or a transaction to go smoothly – and then discover that the reality is much more different. Conversations and interactions become more complex, nuanced by personal agendas and hidden motives. Maybe we missed the obvious signs because of our won unwillingness to see the truth. Or maybe we were overconfident in our ability to adjust to change.  Regardless of the catalyst, life continually presents us with moments that force us to revise our expectations and recalculate our present path.