A Plea to The Lord

I woke up on Monday and looked up at the sky
With a pain in my heart and tears in my eyes
I said “Lord, please help me, I don't know what to do.
I lost my job, I need some help, I have no one but you."

The Lord looked down upon me with sadness in his eyes.
“The world is in a sorry state and I apologize.
For all the pain it's caused you, there's just one thing I'll say:
“It’s okay to cry my child, but don't forget to pray.”

I woke up on Tuesday and looked up at the sky
With a pain in my heart and tears in my eyes
I said “Lord please help me, I don’t know what to do.
The food is scarce, the kids are sick, I have no one but you.

The week dragged by thru Saturday and things seemed worse each day.
I remembered what the Lord said: “It’s okay to cry, but pray”
So I cried and prayed, I cried and prayed, with no relief in sight.
And I went to bed exhausted but couldn't sleep that night.

I woke up on Sunday and looked up at the sky
With pain in my heart and tears in my eyes
I said “Lord I’ve had enough and I’m about to break
I think I might just end it all, for everybody’s sake."

“I’ve not deserted you my child, I’ve counted every tear
Your burdens, although heavy, are not more than you can bear
Soon the sun will warm your face and make you smile again
So rest a little easier and trust in me till then.”

Then the Lord reached down and held me in his arms
With a gentle hand he wiped my tears and spoke these words so calm
“My child I love you dearly and have heard you pray your best
But there is no crying on Sunday, it is the day of rest.

I’ve heard you cry, I’ve heard you pray and I will not desert you
Your faith in Me will get you through these tragedies that hurt you.
So rest today and worry not and leave the rest to me
If you do that, I can promise you, the best is yet to be."

Its all about Choices

life's all about the choices we make, so if you make choices well you'll succeed. It sounds like stating the obvious, but it isnt.
Because few of us really believe how much control we have over our lives. After all, sometimes it really does feel like the whole world's against you. Your PC crashes and everything's lost? Traffic makes you late? but the truth is that it's your decisions that determined what happened. Like you could have backed up your PC, or set off earlier..

so its worth thinking about the choices one makes. because they become habits that define who you are. like the child who endlessly skimps on her homework- and eventually misses out on going to college..

Its not easy though, in these days of quick results and instant gratification. Tempting you to put your career, social life and glitzy possessions ahead of your family. and to move on anytime things get tough. partly its because all that marketing hype creates such high expectations. and makes us feel things should be effortless. so whenever your partner seems less than perfect, its easy to believe that there's someone else out there who is exactly what you are missing. and so you only 'conditionally commit' to one another. until a better options appears....

we would all be a lot better off if our expectations were more realistic. so before you decide that your partner's not giving you what you want. ask whether anyone could! its sad how often marriages struggle when really whats happening is that you've set your hopes too high. so anytime your partner's driving you nuts, ask yourself whether you're being fair. and make sure you're meeting their needs before you start complaining that your own aren't being met.

like always doing what you say you're going to do. your word is everything to your spouse! so dont let your work takes priority, because your partner's needs must come first. like if you say you're goind to be somewhere, be there. on time. successful couples do work hard of course-but they set limits to it. they're focused and professional, avoid bringing work home, and live simply in order to reduce financial pressures and working hours. putting your relationship first may mean you'll never be the wealthiest people around, but you'll certainly be leading the richest lives.

so if you want to reduce marriage to one simple rule. its this, be committed!  and live a life that says you are, every single day. because the song's wrong. it s not love that makes the world go round. its commitment. and why's that? its because the love that lasts forever only start growing when you both know you'll always be there for each other.

The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening...

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it's just life happening.

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

A quiet place

It happens to me too,
the voices and choices
are too much at times
and I need a quiet place
just me and the moon
or me and the sky
a place where I can hear God whisper
reminding me to breathe
asking me to 'hold on'
and when I hear this
I know everything will be O.K...

Amazing Friends

I would never trade my amazing friends, my  wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly.  As I've aged,   I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of  myself. I've become my own friend.. I don't chide myself for eating  that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but  looks so avanté garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be  messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before  they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish  to weep over a lost love .. I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with  abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful.  But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I  eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not  break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken  hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will  never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have  my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever  etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about  what other people think. I don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I  like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).
MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT  FROM THE HEART!

In my house are many rooms..

A room of dreams—
wherein is found the essence of
who I wish to be.
For a man's dreams define him,
while his life's work may not.
In this room can be found old
poems, pieces of music, art,
empty bottles of cheap wine,
dusty old books read
time and time again.

A room of the soul—
where I cry out to God and
await His reply,
offering up my prayers,
my worries and my fears.
A space filled with old icons,
writings of a spiritual sort,
plaster statues , old Bibles,
hand worn rosaries
and frayed holy cards.

A room of shadows—
where are stored the darker things:
death, failure, regret,
locked tightly and well-guarded,
its key tucked safely away.
All contents stored in boxes;
little tombs of painful memories,
covered with sheets of white;
shrouds to hide the decay,
closed to all viewing.

A room of desire—
walls lined with prints and pictures
of old flames and lovers,
some weeping and some laughing.
Here are love's lost mementos:
locks of hair, bottled perfume,
various articles of lingerie,
crumpled sheets of paper—
tear stained letters of lament
and lovesick lines of poetry.


A room of reality—
no trimmings or trappings here,
nor plush carpet or paint.
Unadorned and simple but for
a single large mirror,
that wherever I may saunter
or what room I wander into,
or mood might possess me,
I see myself as I am.
This is my least favorite room.

A room of hope—
waiting to be filled with peace
and  good things yet to come;
things that may not be possible,
yet seem attainable.
Decorated with the promise
of happiness and contentment,
painted in wishful colors;
soft hues of faith and resolve,
with large windows to the future.

A room of the heart—
where I spend most of my days.
The center of my house.
Here are found my dearest treasures;
the thoughts of my children
and sweet memories of their lives,
filled with sweet aromas of
who they are and what they have become,
their trials, triumphs and beliefs
and their wonderful gifts to me.

In my house are many rooms…

of light and shadow,
of the joy, gladness and tears
through countless minutes, hours, days
and nights that shape a life.
Listen to the whispers of the past
echoing through its hallways.
Though it may seem a bit cluttered
or filled with so many useless objects
and perhaps not to your liking,
please know you are always welcome.

I am the New Year

Life, I am the new year.
I am an unspoiled page in your book of time.
I am your next chance at the art of living.

I am your opportunity to practice
what you have learned about life
during the last twelve months.

All that you sought
and didn't find is hidden in me,
waiting for you to search it out
with more determination.

All the good that you tried for
and didn't achieve
is mine to grant
when you have fewer conflicting desires.

All that you dreamed but didn't dare to do,
all that you hoped but did not will,
all the faith that you claimed but did not have -
these slumber lightly,
waiting to be awakened
by the touch of a strong purpose.

I am your opportunity
to renew your allegiance to Him who said,
'behold, I make all things new.'

I am the new year.